Thoughts

We are in Florida visiting family. I am glad to be here. I really love and miss my family that lives here. They are very supportive and i will be sad to leave. I would love to move here. I get so tired alot. Its hard to get used to. I couldnt really do any of the driving here bc i felt exhausted. Ive felt really tired since ive been here. I just dont have the energy to keep up with everyone else yet. Seeing as how i only have been out of the hosp. for 3 wks i guess its understandable. Being in the hosp. took alot more out of me than i wouldve thought. We have really been having a good time here. Taking it slow, relaxing, and visiting with my family. Today we went to Venice beach looking for sharks teeth, the weather was great. On the way back from the beach i heard a song on the radio that made me cry, i tried to fight it but i couldnt. I did manage to hide it from Jaramie. I dont want him to feel bad. It hurts to think how i never got to hold him. We wanted to hold him in our laps and tell him about God. Now God is holding him in his lap telling him about us. He will always be apart of our lives, i am thankful.

I love so much about life. Every time i enjoy things about life i feel blessed, but i know our true rewards are in heaven. I find peace in knowing that the bible says we cant possibly imagine what awaits us in heaven. Its hard to imagine that there could be greater things than the love we share with each other here but i am excited.

Things i love here on earth and with heaven being greater i cant imagine:
Jaramie and everything about him
Stefanie and her 2 beautiful children
My relationship with my dad
My brother and his wonderful fiance
My family, i am blessed with a large one, thankful for every one of them
Life
Laughter
Love itself
Lemons and fresh ripe figs
Sunshine and the beach
i could go on and make a list longer than you would care to read

God has given me a third chance at life. God has a purpose for me. A doctor made a mistake and i almost didnt make it, i am not angry in the least. He is human just as i am. Sometimes i am concerned about trying to have another baby, i could go to see the most experienced, highly recommended doctors in the world and all they could tell me is what they think. They will not know. Only God knows and i take comfort in that. I fully trust in him. I realize now more than ever he is in control and can take any of one of us at any moment. We need not get too comfortable here bc it is only temporary. I have accepted this more now than ever. Life is a fragile blessing, one thats was given in love.

A friend recently lost her boyfriend, i talked to her last week and told her that it looked like June was a rough month for both of us. I told her that maybe God sent him here to bring her closer to God. Not just her but many. It has touched me.

I am a member of a couple of support groups on the internet and since i have been here in Florida i havent been on the computer. I got on here today and checked the pprom board and 3 of the mothers have had their babies. These are mothers that had their membranes rupture early just as i did. One little one gained his wings, the others are doing well. Please keep these mothers, babies, and their families in your prayers.


I also wanted to add that we are VERY thankful for those who have acknowledge Mason and have been supportive in any way.

A special thanks this week to:
Wesley
Stefanie(as always, love you!)
Dad
Martha and Henry
Amber Salway and her lovely son
Emily and Andrew
John and Dana
and most of all God